Somebody’s Gotta Say It: How To Break Bad News To Good People
My best friend is gorgeous — absolutely naturally stunning. She doesn’t need an ounce of makeup to make her look like a model…it sickens me. However, she wears the most horrendous bronzer and lipstick color EVERY SINGLE DAY and is obsessed with it. How on earth does one go about constructively criticizing their best friend without hurting feelings? Whether it’s a wardrobe issue, body odor crisis, or personality problem, it may be uncomfortable to confront you friend about it, but at the end of the day…somebody has to say it.
Here are the 5 sorest subjects to bring up to friends or significant others and how you can alleviate the awkwardness when you drop the bomb.
If you know someone who’s natural scent is reminiscent of the inside of a gym bag, you better take action fast before his or her odor starts wearing off on your clothes too. There’s no way to gently tell your friend, “Yo, you smell like the inside of a port-a-potty,” so I suggest taking the passive aggressive route. Whenever you buy your pungent pal a gift, make it a nice perfume, lotion, trip to the spa, etc, anything to increase cleanliness and promote inoffensive body odor. If you’re ever getting ready to go out together you can also mention, “Oh my gosh, I just discovered the best deodorant in the world. Try it, it will change your life!” Taking things a step further, you can even buy two of these “magical” deodorants and selflessly offer your friend your “extra one.”
Their Cooking Sucks
So, your significant other slaved over the stove for three hours to prepare a beautiful home cooked dinner just for you. You take one bite of the chicken marsala and immediately have to concentrate all your efforts on successfully swallowing the piece without regurgitation. There’s no possible way to praise the meal with a convincing smile, so try using one compliment and one criticism. Say “well, the temperature was excellent” or “the presentation is superb,” followed by, “but I think the flavor has a little bit of work left.” You don’t have to be mean, but there’s no reason you should have to force yourself to palate something that makes you want to gag.
They’re A Bad Kisser
Finally! You found the man who lives up every last requirement on your future husband checklist. He’s a tall, funny doctor who loves animals, children, and cooking, and he would be 100% perfect except for one little problem — he’s a terrible kisser. While kissing, whispering the phrase “I love it when you (insert favorite technique)” could prevent you from losing your dream man or getting your lower lip bitten off.
He’s Just Not That Into You
Everyone West of the Atlantic senses that the feelings are not mutual between your best friend and the new guy she’s been seeing… except for your best friend. She keeps calling, texting, and Facebooking her new love interest to make plans and is clueless as to why her attempts have fallen on deaf ears. Here’s your cue to give your honest opinion about how you simply “don’t get the vibe that the two of them mesh well together” and “she can do better.” Also, planning a girls’ night in and casually suggesting that you two watch “He’s Just Not That Into You” could be subtle enough.
They Give Terrible Gifts
Thank goodness for return policies. One more heinous sweater or potpourri box and you just might die. They best way to deal with a bad gift-giver is to explicitly state what you want and don’t want before the holidays. Take the liberty to draw up a distinct wish list with a disclaimer politely stating that these items are the only items you currently “need” at the moment. If your friend is still hopeless at taking the hint, say you’re financially stricken and the most appreciated gesture would be a sweet card stuffed with come bills. Case closed.
Let us know in the comments below if you’ve ever had one of these awkward conversations or a different one of your own!