Flexting. That awkward middle ground between casual texting and the infamous “sexting.” It’s a delicate dance that few have mastered; how to flirt like a lady without appearing too corny or eager for a response. The art of the flext boils down to three things: timing, language, and format. Keep in mind the approach differs between women and men. For example…

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Real men don’t text. Ask any guy and that’s probably what he’ll tell you. A man who’s really into you will either take the time to call or wait until you can meet up in person to chat. If he responds to you quickly with a flirty text, it’s not because he’s into you (sorry to burst your bubble). He’s either bored or looking for a hook-up.

Beware of the winky face! As a guy’s guy has shared with me, any emoticon is an invitation to…shall we say intimacies. If he’s looking to move the conversation in a different direction, you’ll be able to tell by his choice of smiley. So ladies, don’t give him the wrong idea. If you’re not feeling it, keep your hands off of the symbol keys, no matter how cute that kiss face can be.

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It’s all about timing. We’ve all faced this dilemma before. The age old question of how long to wait before sending your flirty text back. If you text too soon, you appear anxious (not to mention desperate.) While texting is a fast form of communication, active people are less likely to respond. The later you wait, the more it looks like you have something going on…like something cool going on that makes you more desirable. But men, know that…

Women text more frequently. This is true, just as they tend to call more frequently and share their feelings. If you wait too long, you may miss the window of opportunity for something more. You don’t have to write a novel, but do acknowledge her existence or she’ll start to think you’re a jerk –so be witty about it. Less is more in this case.

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Avoid abbreviations. LOL is not witty. Neither is BRB, TTYL, or any of the other cliché text message acronyms that have filtered into our everyday language. When sending a flirty text, you need to be grammatically correct and use full sentences. If you want to take the flirting beyond your phone, you have to show that you’d be an interesting person to converse with in real life.

Flexting may get a bad rap, but it has the potential to score you a real relationship, so don’t blow your chances.